How To Talk To My Teenager About Sex
Get SupportHow To Talk To My Teenager About Sex
Get SupportHow do I know if my child is ready for "The Talk"?
How do I know if my child is ready for “The Talk”? How do I bring it up without it feeling awkward? What if I accidentally say too much? And how do I protect my child from media influences? If you’re a parent of a teen or tween, you might feel overwhelmed by questions like these—and that’s totally normal.
Talking about sex is important, but remember, you’re the best person for the job. This conversation is about more than just the topic of sex; it’s about helping your child understand God’s purpose for us and His design for our lives.
To help guide you through these conversations, we’ve put together some tips on talking to your teen about sex and why sex education is important.
Why is Sex Education Important for Teenagers?
In a culture that often distorts or oversimplifies the meaning of sex, educating your teenager on God’s design for sexuality is crucial. From a young age, your teen is picking up information about sex from many different sources, so it’s important they also receive guidance at home.
Teaching God’s purpose for sex within marriage helps your teen see it as a gift that mirrors God’s love, commitment, and selflessness. These conversations also equip them to better handle peer pressure and their own relationships with wisdom and integrity.
7 Tips for Talking to Your Teen About Sex
Check Your Own Heart
Before talking to your teen about sex, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect on where you’re coming from personally. Are there any negative or uncomfortable feelings you have about sex? Do you see it as a positive gift from God, as it’s described in Genesis 1:28? Are you living out purity in your own life? If your perspective on sex feels a bit off or confusing, it might help to turn to Scripture and seek wise advice before diving into this conversation with your kids.
Keep God First
Every good gift comes from God, including sex, so it makes sense that God will be at the center of your conversations about sex. It’s important for your teen to understand that God fully supports sex between a husband and wife and that there’s nothing shameful about our sexuality.
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Keep the Conversation Going
“The Talk” isn’t a one-time conversation. Rather than overwhelming your teen with too much information all at once, try having smaller, ongoing chats over time. Sometimes you’ll start these conversations, and other times your teen might come to you with questions. This approach helps create an open, comfortable environment where they feel free to talk with you about anything.
Watch For Teachable Moments
Use teachable moments to naturally bring up the subject of sex with your teen. Topics related to sex can come up when you’re listening to a song, watching a TV show, discussing something that happened at school, or even reading the Bible together. These everyday moments create the perfect opportunity to talk with your teen about sex from a godly perspective.
Focus On Values
It can be tempting to just throw out a bunch of facts about sex and call it a day. But what we feel and believe about sex often matters more than just knowing the basics. Unfortunately, social media, pornography, and even friends can have a big influence on how your teen sees sex.
When you talk with your teen about it, emphasize values like selflessness, respect, and love. Let them know that the way sex is often shown in mainstream media is largely unrealistic and fake. Helping them understand God’s purpose for sex (intimacy in marriage, population, pleasure, etc.) can guide them toward adopting the right values.
Listen
Give your teen room to ask questions and open up about any fears or concerns they might have. Sometimes, the less we talk, the more they’ll feel comfortable sharing. If they ask something you’re unsure about, be honest. Let them know you’ll look into it and get back to them. This shows that you’re there to support them and willing to learn together.
Ask Other Families
Don’t hesitate to connect with other trusted parents to learn from their experiences. Ask them how they approached these talks with their own teens—what worked, what didn’t, and any tips they’d offer. They might share helpful ideas for starting the conversation or ways they handled tough questions. Hearing from others can also reassure you that you’re not alone in navigating these important discussions.
Though it can feel uncomfortable or even intimidating, having honest and open conversations about sex with our teens helps strengthen their relationship with God and others.
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