How to Strengthen Communication in Marriage

Effective communication plays a crucial role in maintaining a healthy marriage. Yet, improving communication skills within marriage might seem like a daunting task. Wondering where to begin? Read on for five ways to strengthen communication with your spouse, starting today.

What Does the Bible Say About Communication in Marriage?

Before delving into practical tips, it’s important to understand the significance of healthy communication in marriage. Scripture is full of practical wisdom on how to communicate effectively with others, including our spouse. After all, God himself spoke the world into existence (Genesis 1:3). The book of James compares the tongue to a fire, holding the power to cause damage in a matter of seconds (James 3:5-6). On the other hand, words bring instant joy, just like honey sweetens the soul (Proverbs 16:24).

When it comes to relationships, the Bible challenges us to speak words that uplift and encourage (Ephesians 4:29). Our words have a lot to say about what is inside our hearts (Luke 6:45). When we keep Christ as the center of our marriage, walk closely with God, and fill our minds with his Truth, our words become a reflection of a heart filled with contentment and gratitude.

Make Time for Meaningful Conversations

One of the biggest enemies of good communication in marriage is busyness. To strengthen communication in your marriage, you must first make room to connect. This might involve scheduled check-ins at the end of the day, marking a date night on the calendar, or saying “no” to less important commitments. You may also consider incorporating quality conversation into everyday activities such as car rides, meals, and shared hobbies. By intentionally carving out these spaces, you lay the foundation for healthy communication and a successful marriage.

Start today by setting aside just 10 minutes for a life-giving conversation with your spouse. Whether it’s a quick phone call or a face-to-face chat, these intentional moments can make a noticeable difference in deepening your connection.

Ask the Right Questions

Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to get the conversation going, and the key to a quality exchange often begins with a good question. Asking your spouse questions not only sparks conversation but also conveys genuine interest in their thoughts and experiences.

Here are some thoughtful questions to deepen your connection:

How was your day?
How can I pray for you?
What is something God is teaching you?
What was the highlight of your day?
How can I care for you?
What challenges did you face today?
What dream or goal are you working toward?
What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Is there anything on your mind that you’d like to talk about?
What made you smile today?

Feel free to tweak these conversation starters based on your unique relationship. Today, pick a question, ask your spouse, and enjoy discovering more about them through their response.

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Use More Than Words

Effective communication in marriage goes beyond just talking—it involves connecting through body language, facial expressions, physical touch, and acts of service.

What is your body language saying to your spouse? Let them know you’re fully present in the conversation by facing them, maintaining eye contact, un-crossing your arms, and showing positive facial expressions. These subtle yet impactful changes in your body language can instantly improve a conversation.

Listening is also a form of communication. Proverbs 18:13 says, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” Make sure you truly hear and understand your spouse’s point of view before you respond.

It’s true what they say, “actions speak louder than words.” Show your love through simple acts of service, like picking up a special treat, preparing their favorite meal, or tackling that one household chore they dread. These simple acts communicate with your spouse that you see and appreciate them.

This week, pay attention to your body language and make any adjustments needed to fully engage in conversation. In addition, choose a simple act of kindness that you know will bring a smile to your partner’s face. Non-verbal communication isn’t just a supplement to words; it plays a significant role in strengthening the overall health of your relationship.

Recognize the Value in Small Talk

Communication as a married couple doesn’t always have to be intense. A happy marriage includes a healthy balance of all types of conversation, including “small talk.” A casual conversation about everyday life has the power to strengthen the bond you have with your spouse. Remember to sprinkle some fun into your talks—share amusing stories, chat about the weather, and discuss your upcoming plans. As Proverbs 12:25 says, “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Your positive and light-hearted words have the power to bring joy and vibrancy into your marriage.

Pray Together

Talking to God together is an intimate experience that strengthens your relationship with God and your spouse. Ask your partner how you can pray for them, then take time to pray out loud together. Don’t forget to pray for good communication within your marriage, drawing inspiration from the words of Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight.”

This sacred moment aligns you and your spouse’s hearts with God’s heart. Plus, praying together makes it difficult to stay annoyed or angry at each other. Try starting a new prayer routine with your spouse. Pray together before bed, on dates, at mealtime, or on the road. Prayer is a beautiful way to enrich your communication.

We hope these tips encourage you to get to know your spouse. As you begin to implement these practices within your marriage, remember non-verbal and verbal communication is not just a skill you can master but a life-long process. The smallest changes can have a significant impact over time. Embrace the process of Christ’s transforming work and see how these simple adjustments can grow a great marriage.