How to Save My MArriage
Get SupportHow to Save My Marriage
Get SupportEvery marriage experiences difficulty, but there is hope.
Things like financial troubles, the death of a loved one, or even infidelity can put extreme strain on your relationship. You might feel hurt, frustrated, or even hopelessness about the future of your marriage. But we want you to know that you’re not alone, and there is hope.
As followers of Jesus, we believe marriage is a sacred relationship between two people and God and that it is worth fighting for. We want to share some practical and spiritual advice on saving your marriage and restoring the love, trust, and intimacy that may have been lost along the way.
At , we value the importance of marriage and want yours to thrive.
Remember Why Your Marriage Matters
Did you know that God Himself performed the first wedding ceremony in history? After creating the earth, animals, and man, God decided it wasn’t good for Adam, the first man, to be alone (Gen 2:18-25). So, He created Eve, and Adam was cheerful, to say the least! Adam describes her as “bones of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” and they united.
Thousands of years later, Jesus reminded us that marriage has always been more than just a contract with God and another person. He said it’s a commitment between one man and one woman to spend a lifetime loving and serving each other for God’s glory (Matt 19:5-6). Our marriage covenant mirrors the unconditional, unshakeable covenant between Jesus and us!
It’s easy in the busy seasons and the stressful chapters to lose sight of what makes our marriages so important, but remembering just how significant it is can give us the strength to keep fighting for our relationships.
Grow Your Marriage
Healthy marriages don’t grow alone. Whether you’re looking for healing or just to grow with your spouse, we care about you at . Get connected to marriage resources and support here in .
Make The Commitment
Numerous studies have been done on whether couples in unhappy marriages should stay together. The research has found that two-thirds of unhappy marriages should become happy within five years if the couple opts to stay married over getting divorced!
These studies have also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most unhappily married people become content and happy in their marriage if they remain committed and get the help they need.
Don’t try to manipulate, threaten, or coerce your spouse into committing to the marriage. Instead, lovingly invite them into a relationship that you value. Be empathetic to your spouse and continue to calmly remind them that you will continue to communicate with them and commit to the marriage.
See Yourself as The One Who Needs to Grow
In a hurting marriage, it is easy to see everything that is wrong with your spouse. You may easily be able to point to the problems, actions, or inactions in your spouse that hurt you and the marriage. It is much harder to look at yourself and see the ways that you can grow.
Every relationship is made of two imperfect people. Many times, we get caught in the cycle of placing the responsibility for “fixing” things onto the other person. We think, “I’ll change this thing about my once they change that thing about them.”
These cycles leave us stuck in damaged relationships and negative cycles. But it only takes one person to break the pattern. It takes one person deciding to give their own growth everything they have to reverse the negative cycle, and many times begin to soften a spouses heart.
*If you are in an unsafe relationship or experiencing any kind of abuse, there are resources for you.
Get The Support You Need
By seeking support and accountability from your community, you can find the encouragement and resources you need to navigate the challenges facing you and grow closer to each other and God.
Find a Marriage Mentor
When going through a trial in your marriage, it’s essential to seek support from your community, family, friends, or church. One way you can do this is by finding a trusted mentor or couple who can offer guidance and support. This mentor could be a family member, pastor, or other experienced couples who have gone through similar challenges in their marriage.
Attend a Marriage Retreat
You can also participate in a marriage enrichment program, support group, or retreat designed to strengthen and encourage marriages. Additionally, we encourage you to intentionally build community and spend time with other healthy couples who can model a loving and committed relationship with each other and Christ.
Go to Marriage Counseling
Some marriages may also benefit from professional counseling. Find a trustworthy counselor or therapist who specializes in marriage counseling to help you work through your problems. Marriage counseling is a two way streak.
If your spouse asks you to try professional counseling, make a commitment to try for at least 3 months.
Professional marriage counsling can provide much needed perspective and encouragement for a couple in need.
Quick Tips to Prioritize Your Marriage
Investing time and energy into your marriage can be hard. Here are some quick suggestions to help keep the spark alive!
- Make a regular date night routine: This can be every week, every two weeks, or every month. Whatever works best for you. But commit to regular date nights that are special and that you can look forward to.
- Vocalize the things about your spouse that you love: Be quick with compliments and encouragements. Tell them you are thankful for them. Sincerely tell them what you love about them. Thank them for the work they do to support your family.
- Practice physical affection: Even a simple hand holding can bond you to your spouse. Small physical gestures like hugging, a hand on the back, or sitting close on the couch can remind your spouse that you love them. Physical intimacy is key to prioritizing your marriage.
- Communicate often: Your spouse is a new person every morning and you get the privilege of getting to know them over and over! Have conversations and talk about what is going on in your lives, how you are feeling, and what you are excited about.
- Serve your spouse around the house: If your spouse hates doing the dishes, go out of your way to do them. When you’re married, you are managing a home together. Help each other out with chores and errands without being asked. Remember, you are a team and team mates lift each other up!
If you are looking for a place to reinvest in your marriage and find a community that wants to walk alongside you, has your back. We deeply care about your marriage and want to see it flourish. Join us this weekend!